Oh, That Naughty Speed of Light

For your amusement, via Pharyngula, some definitions from a Fashionable Dictionary (before you click, beware it's a tad irreverent):

Aristotle
A famous thief. Stole all his ideas from the library at Alexandria, built after his death, which just goes to show how sneaky he was.

Assumption
Something to be examined when it is our opponent's and taken for granted when it is our own.

Catastrophism
A theory describing what occurs when we're asked to explain our ideas clearly.

Defensive
Adjective for someone who insists on disagreeing with me, and goes on disagreeing even after I've said how right I am.

E=MC2
Probably a sexed equation, the product of a male obssession with speed. 'Is e=mc2 a sexed equation?...Perhaps it is. Let us make the hypothesis that it is insofar as it privileges the speed of light over other speeds that are vitally necessary to us. What seems to me to indicate the possible sexed nature of the equation is not directly its uses by nuclear weapons, rather it is having privileged what goes the fastest...' [Luce Irigaray, Le sujet de la science est-il sexue?]

Edge
A thing it is necessary to be on the cutting part of.

Elitist
Someone who knows more than I do.

Force
A thing you want with you.

Human nature
Fantasy. Fictitious entity, like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy or the free lunch. Humans have no nature, only culture; we can learn to fly, or live in the ocean, or echolocate, or pick things up with our trunks, if we will only concentrate.

Enough. Go read the original, while I learn how to echolocate.