Thursday, January 08, 2009

Eight Reasons You Should Keep Coke Away From Your Vagina

Photo by Thomas Hawk

Just because people in the 1950s and 1960s reached for a Coke bottle after sex to use as a spermicide dispenser doesn't mean soft drink douches are an effective method of birth control.

From researcher Deborah J Anderson [yes, she really put a mix of sperm and soda under the microscope and studied it], here are the top eight reasons why, after sex, the soda goes po (you drink it), not pv (you don't spray it into your vagina):

1. Coke's assassin kung fu is weak against sperm.

2. In the race to the cervix, sperm leave Coke in the dust.

3. Unlike Coke and vodka, Coke and vaginal tissue don't mix well.

4. Neither, for that matter, does Coke and vaginal flora.

Photo by jaime4i

5. Coke or Pepsi, it doesn't matter. Just get off the soda and say No! to douching.

6. Secret potions have no business being anywhere near your genital region. On the other hand, secret spies might be just the thing to have in the vicinity.

7. Just because you've been drinking out of a bottle since you were a kid and/or you're a Pilates goddess, doesn't mean you have the skills to douche effectively with Coke.

8. A vaginal soda spritzer vs. >80 better methods of birth control. Discuss!

Photo by Brent and MariLynn

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At 12:22 PM, Blogger cdavis said...

Also, you might have traces of aspirin or Mentos in there, from previous injudicious insertions. All hell could break loose!

At 5:54 PM, Blogger ema said...


Ha, excellent point! That could totally be reason #9.

At 6:48 AM, Anonymous Amanda said...

#6 had me immediately thinking of Daniel Craig on a beach. Hmm...

At 5:09 PM, Blogger ema said...


Believe it or not, he's exactly who I had in mind when I wrote #6. Also, a little bit of this one from Burn Notice, as well. Enjoy!

At 3:38 AM, Anonymous Ms Constantine said...

Mmm Daniel Craig and Jeffrey Donovan! :D

At 10:38 AM, Anonymous locksmith mesa said...

Daniel Craig and Jeffey Donovan??


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