I Want To Be Just Like Bernard Madoff

If we were just like Bernard L. Madoff, we, too, could violate the law and fleece people of $50 billion and then magnanimously agree, from the confines of our sumptuous Upper East Side residence, to restrain ourselves from violating certain antifraud provisions of the federal securities laws, have our assests frozen, and, maybe at some time in the future, pay some interest and civil penalties.

But we're nowhere near as special as Mr. Madoff. Should any of us decide to engage in criminal activity and/or be grossly incompetent at our jobs it'll be off with our heads!