Obama's Appointee Alexia Kelley Should Help Dr. Tiller's Assassin Obtain Federal Funds for Reducing Abortion

Right before slain Ob/Gyn Dr. George Tiller is to be laid to rest, our most magnificent leader, President Obama (PBUH, praise Jesus, and Omm), appoints Alexia Kelley, executive director of Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good, to head the Center for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships at the Department of Health and Human Services (DHHS).

This is great news and here are three reasons why:

1. Faith-based government centers tasked with reproductive health policy recommendations.

As Sarah Posner explains in The American Prospect about the Center for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships [u]nder George W. Bush [.pdf], the faith-based centers didn't play a policy role. But Obama has expanded the faith-based project to include a policy side, and one of its chief goals is to reduce the need for abortion. (links mine)

Create faith-based centers at various Federal agencies to help funnel some government money to your co-religionists and maybe to have people in place just in case the theocracy is a-comin'. Despicable, but mostly run-of-the-mill corruption typical of politicians and power-hungry religious people. Task faith-based center at the HEALTH department to come up with solutions to real life medical matters. That's just a special kind of brilliant. All that's left to do is to sit back, relax, and feel the freaking magic[-based solution]!

2. Appointee's mission is to advance the prophetic voice of a particular religion's tradition.

Catholics in Alliance for the Common Good (CACG) is a non-partisan, non-profit organization on a mission to advance the prophetic voice of the Catholic social tradition.

Who better to provide science-based solutions to real life reproductive health matters than one who's on a mission to advance views about a supernatural realm that have empirical consequences?

Between the virgin birth that's neither parthenogenesis nor fetus-in-fetu, sacred sperm, legal rights for morula-Americans, and the prohibition on safe and effective medical procedures (abortion) and drugs (birth control), so many prophetic directives from God, so little time to enact them into public health policy.

Also, the fact that Bill Donohue and his crew do not like the competition from CACG, and the fact that Ms. Kelley holds some bizarre policy beliefs (see below) and advocates the style of "common ground" over the substance of reality clearly indicate that President Obama's decision to appoint Kelley to help shepherd...the White House's common ground agenda on abortion through HHS will deliver women from the evil of abortion, praise be [insert deity, or close male relative of, deity of choice].

3. Alexia Kelley has no idea how to interpret, you know, data.

According to Alexia Kelley, [a]bortion is a social justice issue that must be understood within the context of strategies to combat poverty and to create a truly pro-family economy that respects life.

Everest is nothing compared to the mountain of evidence supporting this claim. Like, for example, the Reducing Abortion in America: The Effect of Socioeconomic Factors (.pdf) study commissioned by Ms. Kelley's organization, a study so not flawed that ideologues known for their own sloppy and biased studies were actually able to force a rewrite of it.

And speaking of evidence, also form Ms. Kelley, our wise DHHS shepherd on reproductive health policy:

Reducing the abortion rate by 95 percent in 10 years is an essential and achievable goal.

This, right here is proof that Alexia Kelley is eminently qualified to herd the women of America into the corral and unleash a reproductive health policy shearing unto them hereto unparalleled in this or any other real or imagined world.

When you are able to read the not-at-all bizarro Life 95-10 Initiative document (.pdf) from Democrats for Life who look and work toward the day when unborn children can be fully protected in law, competent enough to miss each and every one of the many red flags that the document is nothing but silly propaganda, and so scientifically-literate that you decree a 95% reduction in the abortion rate in 1o years an achievable goal in the absence of even a whisper of a shade of a hint of supporting evidence, you are without a doubt the right person to head the Center for Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships at the Department of Health and Human Services.

Well done President Obama!

Oh, and a quick note for Ms. Kelley: Not for nothing, but as you start your new job please keep in mind that incarcerating or shooting all the Ob/Gyns who perform abortions tomorrow will still not reduce the abortion rate by 95%. On the other hand, offing a good number of women of reproductive age might be something to consider in the reality-based quest to achieve the blessed goal.