Nursing Student Ben Cochran Responds

Nursing student Ben Cochran offers a response and puts to rest the fears of all those who thought he might be a mediocre satirist, and the hopes of those who thought he would be inclined to remedy his professional incompetence:

If you were among the many who were offended by my column last week, then let me take this opportunity to offer you a heartfelt apology. I am well aware that my stance was not a popular one. As an Opinion columnist, my primary goal is to generate informed discussion. To that end, I intentionally try to be provocative. As such, sometimes my columns offend people. Please understand that my intent was not to cause people to become enraged. I simply hoped they would disagree with the expressed opinion and state reasons for that disagreement. I wanted to see a lively debate, and hopefully, learn something in the process. The position I argued for is a valid opinion by virtue of the fact that it is an opinion. Unfortunately, my word choice was not the best. I cannot believe I said “conscientious” when I really meant “conscious,” among other things. From now on, I will take greater care to exercise better judgment. As always, your responses are welcomed and encouraged.

Based on this response it looks like Mr. Cochran is aware of his incompetence but is unconcerned about, and somewhat amused by, it. As such, those in charge of his education should strongly consider the possibility that even intensive remedial training might not be enough to allow Mr. Cochran to, some day in the distant future, become fit to provide patient care.

It would be a disservice to both Mr. Cochran and his future patients to continue to pretend that someone with his severe deficiencies will become a competent nurse.

Nursing Student Ben Cochran

UPDATE: Ben Cochran responds.

In all his glory and my reaction:

Dear [Dean],

I am an Ob/Gyn and a medblogger and I am emailing you to alert you to the fact that one of your nursing students, Ben Cochran, appears to be incompetent. Based on his article, Mr. Cochran:

People go to the doctor when they’re sick.

1) Is unfamiliar with the concept of preventive medicine and all that it entails.

What girl have you ever heard of that goes to a doc in the box for birth control?

2) Has no understanding of student healthcare.

If you have a lung problem, you see a pulmonologist. If you have a heart problem, you see a cardiologist. If you have a cunt problem, you see a gynecologist.

3) Knows nothing about the scope of practice of Pediatricians, Family Practitioners, Nurse Practitioners, or, for that matter, Ob/Gyns.

If you have a cunt problem, you see a gynecologist....Go read your Redbook in the lobby of a specialist while you get a mani as you wait to get your hatchet wound inspected....Please take your gaping holes elsewhere for medical services, and leave the real health issues to those that actually belong on a college campus.

4) Doesn't have even a rudimentary understanding of the anatomy and physiology of the female reproductive tract or the morbidity and mortality of pregnancy.

First of all, not even porn stars need that much birth control.

5) Is stumped by the mechanism of action, and the indications for use, of [hormonal] birth control.

Second of all, do you mean to seriously tell me that I’ve been sitting here in misery for the last half an hour just so that this gaggle of preemie sluts could get a free pass on harlotry?...I don't take issue with sex mongers. They serve their place. Hell, according to the bible, it's the oldest known profession on earth. So you sultry sex fiends are clearly established, but this is a place of higher being.


6) Is under the mistaken impression that medical competence and professionalism are optional and only apply to patients he deems worthy.

Bottom line: I hope you will consider providing Mr. Cochran with the remedial training he so desperately needs before certifying him competent to render care to any patients.

Thank you for your time,

ema
TheWellTimedPeriod

ETA: Oops, forgot to include the last one:

Look, this is a university—an ivory tower of academic prowess. We don’t need to be handing out birth control left and right especially from an on campus location. This is a bastion for the intellectually competent. If you find your talents to lend themselves to a more base and carnal nature, perhaps this just isn’t the place for you.

7) Provides no data to support his extraordinary claim that men and women who use birth control are academically/intellectually handicapped and do not belong on campus.